Don’t get me wrong, I had a plan, and I kept to it. It payed off in the end with he getting to my 5 year goal on time and becoming as proficient as a theatre nurse (O.R Nurse) as I had always wanted to be.
Then came the chance to join the ambulance service and I jumped at it. Something I had always wanted to do. I applied, sat the exams, had the interviews then started the career of my dreams.
I never looked back and surprisingly, the itchy feet seemed to disappear.
I am now 12 years in. I have never thought about doing anything else and couldn’t even imagine doing anything else. One of my colleagues once said that if they cut me in two I would be green and yellow throughout (the colour of UK ambulances).
Things change though…….dont they?
I’ve started looking, I keep on imagining…….what if??
I’m sure it’s just a phase I’m going through. I still love coming to work. I am still passionately committed to giving my patients the very best care they could hope to receive, but I can’t help but wonder……
Maybe it’s because of the MSc in Clinical Research I am doing, and once a month I go to study at the Newcastle University Medical School, and look at all the young student doctors.
Maybe it’s because as I sit in the library working on the latest assignment, I listen to the students on the tables next to mine, discussing their latest project on this disease or that ailment, and know that I could quite happily join their discussion and have relevant input into it.
I know that I am a frustrated doctor. I recognise the fact that if I could do it all again, I would actually work at school and go to medical school.
It’s too late now. My family come first and im no spring chicken, that’s for sure.
There are other options though. I could go back to nursing; I keep meaning to do some work in accident and emergency on the nurse bank.
I could work my butt off at the MSc and get a good result then try to find research work (although I know the pay isn’t as high as I thought it would be).
I have also contemplated making the jump that Tom Reynolds has recently done and go into a NHS Walk in Centre as a nurse practitioner.
Or I could just stay put and ride the wave that I am on at the moment and wait for everything to settle down again and realise what a lucky man I am to be doing this job. I know that the grass isnt always greener on the other side…..but is that enough of a reason not to try another field?
I know I am not exactly ancient, but I also recognise that I dont want to be carrying 20 stone people down stairs when I am in my 50’s.
Maybe I should change when there is still time for me to start again and move upwards?
What is my 5 year plan ?……….
I haven’t got a bloody clue!!