Posted by: medicblog999 | March 15, 2010

Life with Medic999 – Warts and all

File1-Team Glencorse

Also Posted over at ‘The Chronicles of EMS

So Mark has asked me to write a blog post about what it is like to be married to him.

My first question was, can I be honest or do I have to lie?

My second was ‘Can I use sarcasm or does it have to be serious?’

He has given me free reign to write what I like, so here I go!!

I met Mark nearly 7 years ago whilst at work. I’m sure most of you know that our first job together was to a railway track, looking for a patient. Or should I say, me looking for part of the patient via torchlight whilst Mark randomly chatted away to some guy.

It was my first real trauma job, and I had only been in the job a few months. Mark and I bonded that shift in a way which “Crew Mates” usually do. We talked about what had happened and evaluated the job. He looked after ma that day and during the following shifts that we worked together. I felt that we had developed a ‘special bond’ and looked forward to working with him again (You can grab your vomit bowl at this point if you need too).

I looked up to Mark, he was very particular in the way that he worked, every patient got 100% care at all times.

I once took him to my parent’s house whilst we were passing on shift. We were both hungry that day, so the mother got the phone call to make some sandwiches.

My mother said to me that day…

“Sandra, that is the man you will marry”

So, yup, I can now blame my mother for how my life has turned out, right?

A short time passed and after a while Mark and I ‘hooked up’ together.

He has always been a person with a get up and go personality. He always wants to be doing something and is constantly striving to make things better for his patients. I respect him greatly for this, although it’s a shame that he wasn’t any better at DIY or housework.

His passion for his job has led him down various avenues before he became an avid blogger. He has been involved in every committee and working group going, but nothing has fulfilled him as much as his blog and communicating with his followers,

His now famous friendship (read, Bromance) with Justin started off as a wacky idea to visit a different ambulance service in another country. At first I thought it was one of his usual crazy ideas, but wow, it has come a long way since then!

After months of planning, Mark finally made his transatlantic trip to America, to go and play with Justin and then vice versa.

I have to be honest and say that it was a hard 11 days without my husband. 6 x 12 hour shifts, a mother and two children to look after, all took its toll. I was exhausted.

Then Justin can over to the UK and I had to pretend to be a good housewife for another week (which I confess, I am not). Evening meals and packed lunches, as well as three nights out, again left me out of breath and wondering where it was all going to end.

But, it all came to an end, it was all over, and I got to relax for a while. Mark had done what he had wanted to and life would go back to normal, right?

Wrong! All that had happened was that a monster was created and it had a name called, The Chronicles of EMS!

Mark and Justin wanted more. They now wanted to travel the world. They wanted to review and change the way in which EMS systems work all over the world.

Now, being a paramedic myself, I can relate to what they are trying to achieve. I admit that I am nowhere as passionate as Mark or Justin as far as my own job goes, but I like to think that is because I am a mother and a wife first and a paramedic second. This is not to say that I do not put energy and enthusiasm into my work or strive to be a better paramedic with improved skills, I do, it just doesn’t take over my life.

Mark and Justin are taking on a big task. This is not something that is going to happen overnight. It will take years!

I also realise that this means that the hubby is going to be away from home alot, and even when he is at home, it still takes up a hell of alot of his, and our time.

So down to the nitty gritty then. He asked me to be honest and share my feelings on all of this, so deep breath……..and go!

My first reaction is to say that I am jealous. I am jealous that Mark is getting to do something so exciting whilst I stay at home and keep the family going.

I am resentful that it is him travelling the world and not me.

I get angry that he seems to spend more time and energy involved with CoEMS and blogging than he does with me and the family.

I hate that he enjoys himself so much and meets loads of exciting and wonderful people from all over the world, whilst I am stuck indoors with the children.

It annoys me that Mark has such enthusiasm and ‘get up and go’, when I always seem to be so tired.

Surely most, if not all of you, can understand why?

But you know what?……everything that gets me going about Mark is what I love the most about him.

I am so proud of what he has achieved. I love that he has such much passion for what he believes in. I enjoy listening to all of his stories and hearing the excitement in his voice.

It would be pushing it to say that I enjoy seeing his photos (he takes a good few hundred per trip) with running commentaries, especially when his arms are clad with young girls wearing next to nothing! (I am so getting old)

IMGP1981 compressed

He is a great husband and a fantastic father. He is caring and loving. A person I respect and admire.

He has a wicked sense of humour and loves to have a laugh. He makes me feel special and still gives me butterflies in my tummy.

I can never imagine life without him and maybe that’s why I find it so hard when he is away on another jaunt.

There has to be a compromise in a marriage as well as give and take.

So…….

Mark will continue on his quest, with his ‘best buddy’ Justin. I can’t promise not to moan or whine, but I will always smile when I see what he is achieving and when other people comment or write about what he is doing.

I will however, still take advantage of his better nature by making him feel guilty in order to get more lie ins.

I really look forward to the day that I can come on one of his trips and meet everyone and truly be part of this growing community. Until then, I will just keep tweeting. It keeps me sane and I so enjoy having a laugh with some of my twitter friends (special mentions to @PGSilva, @Theroaddoctor, @Madmedic1).

However, I must say that Mark thinks that I am becoming a bit of a Twitter addict – I agree.

There is so much more to share and so much more to write, but I think that is enough for now. Who knows, maybe I will get into this blogging lark?

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Responses

  1. Mrs999 – you should definitely blog more often! It was so nice to hear about CoEMS from the spouse's position and as another professional! I know I'd definitely love to hear more of your stories in the field and as wife to the wacky 999. I assure you, your husband is always the perfect gentleman and you are never far from his conversations in person. Lucky gal!MsP

  2. Thanks for that M`lady! Your cheque is in the post!

  3. Great post, Mrs999! I've actually wondered, “what does the better half think of all this?!” He's a lucky guy in many ways, and you've just made it clear how lucky he truly is! I agree with MsP, too, that this is something you should definitely continue!

  4. Its nice to hear from you. I read one of your blogs before and thought it was really good. I am somewhat new to EMS and very new to blogging. I understand how hard this must be for you. I have grown very fond of your husbands blogs and well as Mr. Happy Medic and they have inspired me to start blogging as well. I want to thank YOU for being so understanding in letting Mr. 999Medic to go out and play. Its very exciting to hear about CoEMS! I hope things get a little easier for you in dealing with all of this and hopefully Mark can get some rest from his busy work and play and get plenty of family time. We in EMS all know about the long hours and time away from loved ones and Mark and Justin are taking that to a whole new level by embarking on this ambitious task. I solute them for it as I feel they have great ideas for our profession! As I said before however, a large amount of respect and gratitude needs to go to you and the other spouses and family that have to stay and man the fort and look after all the every day stuff. Thank you all for what you are doing! STAY SAFE!!!

  5. Mrs999 – I thought that your writing was amazing and totally from the heart, it is amazing how open you have been. He is a very luck man to have you. I am not sure if I were to do it that I would be as eloquent and funny and honest.Well done, you have a lot to be proud of!Mrs Insomniac Medic

  6. While in San Francisco, I had dinner with Mark and Justin along with Justin's family and friends. I seat between Justin and Mark so I could talk with both of them. They are two men who love their families. That was very obvious. Without you and Mrs. HM these two could not do what they are doing through Chronicles of EMS. Your husband was missing you very much that night.Think we should be hearing more from you so perhaps, your own blog!!

  7. Great blog Sandra. Just think of all the nights out we can have when Mark is away ! We need to have a re-match with the kids again !!! Fiona x

  8. Great Post.The guilty card is solid and should work well for you and…You're MUCH better looking than any of those hooter girls. (& I checked the bigger version on Mark's Facebook page).More posts from you would be good.

  9. Firstly, may I say thank you for your candid thoughts with which you write. I was very pleased that you didn't hold back.. I am a firm believer in telling it like it is!For you to cope with Mark going off on his venture with CoEMS is a big deal! To hold down your job, look after the house and the kids? That's no mean feat and for that you must be commended.I would love to hear more from you. The fact that you too are a paramedic gives you the sense of humour, humility and compassion required to blog. I firmly believe these are also the foundations of any good paramedic. The fact that you are married to an EMS blogger gives you an understanding of what they are trying to write and achieve as well as knowing what they are going through at work.2 EMS bloggers in the same family? Hubby and Wife team? Surely a first?More please… 🙂

  10. As someone who has had a couple of guest posts on Mark's blog can I just say what a cracking job you have done with that post.You and Mark are very lucky to have each other.Keep up the good work, both of you.Nick.

  11. Good post Sandra. Mark is lucky to have you, and as others have said “he couldn't do it without you”. You guys seem like a good team to me, keep it up.Always play the guilt card for those treats.

  12. My wife has a new hero!! Loved it.

  13. Hi Mrs999! I think it's great you decided to write this post. Given the problems many ambulance crew have in relationships because of the nature of the job – especially I suspect where one partner is NOT in the NHS – to hear an honest description of how you deal with it. Your husband played a not insignificant role in my daughter deciding to apply for paramedic training and I would like to think that she will work to the same high standards he does (and I'm sure you do too). More power to your elbow – and I too hope you will be back to blog again.

  14. Mrs999 – yep, you've got to keep posting, ideally on your own blog.What a great post – it's easy to see where Mark has backing and from where he draws strength. You must be pretty special too, with such a responsible job, kids and an obsessed husband.Fair play to you.

  15. Mrs999 – yep, you've got to keep posting, ideally on your own blog.What a great post – it's easy to see where Mark has backing and from where he draws strength. You must be pretty special too, with such a responsible job, kids and an obsessed husband.Fair play to you.


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