Sometimes this job sucks!
Yup, you heard me right. I know I am usually Mr positive, but sometimes this job makes you question yourself and your abilities like only a few other professions could ever compare with.
Sometimes you want to do your very best for a patient, but it turns out to be one of those jobs where things just don’t go the patient’s way. It doesn’t matter what you do or how good you are, some things are just never going to change the outcome.
Then there are the times where things just don’t work. You try and try but, if it has the chance to go wrong, it will. You don’t make mistakes, but things just seem harder than they should be. Things dont go smoothly like normally and it seems as though everything is put in your path to stop you doing what you know is needed.
And then there are the times that you are left with nothing but just questions.
Did I do enough?
Should I have done something different?
Should I have stopped or should I have carried on?
………Did I fail my patient?
Sometimes, as I sit on station, or drive home, or try to get to sleep, the questions come. I know that nothing would have made a difference but sometime, just sometimes, I wonder………
It hasn’t been a good night.