Posted by: medicblog999 | September 20, 2009

Driving through the streets….

night window

My mind wanders as we weave our way through the streets of Gateshead on the way back to station. Its 02:30, and its been a busy night so far, but its been a good night.

Nothing major, no big traumas, or ‘big jobs’, just the usual run of the mill emergencies on a Saturday night. Even the two very drunk children were actually quite pleasant and we managed to have a bit of a giggle with the parents on the way to hospital.

Im working with a good partner, someone who I can have a laugh with and someone who is wanting to progress in this career called paramedicine. More importantly, he is someone who likes to learn and doesnt find it uncomfortable to be questioned and have ‘learning points’ discussed. That just makes all of the difference!!

Im starting to feel a little bit tired and as my eyes scan the darkened windows that roll past  my mind decides to wander off into the images and memories that seem to float around at times like these, but  im surprised to find that they are not the troublesome scenes that I have been present at, but instead, just the people I have met and cared for.

Some will remain with me for ever. Some have already disappeared into the reccesses of my mind and will never come to the surface again. But they have all left their mark on me.

Its hard to imagine people snuggled up together, sleeping quietly and peacefully, like so many would who arent part of the ambulance service.

For me, when I look up, I imagine people struggling with their breathing difficulties; elderly patients who have fallen on the floor and cannot get up; someone looking at a bottle of cheap cider not wanting to drink it, but knowing that they cant stop themself. I see people struggling with mental illness behind closed doors, desperate to get through one more night of anxiety and depression, eager to see the world come to life again, so that they dont feel so alone anymore. Then there is the woman who wakes from her sleep to hear a loud thud from the bathroom and finds her husband lifeless on the floor. There are also the hundreds of people rocking backwards and forwards rubbing their abdomens, wondering if the pain will go away or only get worse. I could go on…….

This job has changed me in so many ways. Most of them have been for the better.

I tend not to worry about the little things so much now.

I try to tell all those I love, just how much I do love them.

I appreciate life, but I also understand what a fleeting thing it can be.

But then there is the other side.  When I look into darkened windows, I dont think of lovers in each others arms, babies sleeping peacefully, and children having exciting dreams. I know too much now. I have been part of too much sadness, pain and heartbreak. But thats just life isnt it?

I doesnt feel like a burden to me. Instead, I like to think that for all the pain that I have witnessed, I have helped.

It may not have been much for some patients and families, but for a few minutes, my presence  has been a good thing at a sometimes terrible time in someones life.

Thats why I get up looking forward to going to work, and thats why I am sitting typing this at 04:30, instead of trying to get a quick bit of shut-eye whilst I have the chance…..

Thanks for being on my journey with me!

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Responses

  1. Looking forward to actually being there on the ride with you.

  2. For every drunk you go and see, for the fakers and abusive folk, I bet there are just as many calls that raise your heartrate a little – that have the result of a little smile creeping in that turns into a massive grin when a job goes right. Must be one of the most amazing feelings in the world

  3. There is no doubt that being part of the NHS is like one roller coaster ride. For all the bad stuff there will always be a tiny piece of good that outshines all the dross. It’s what makes us carry on doing what we do. When you raise a smile in one patient it’s worth all the abuse.
    (I’m a practice nurse by the way)
    Keep up the good work mate 😀


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