Posted by: medicblog999 | May 4, 2009

Insight into Dementia

dementiaThis is a little addendum to the last post, I was going to add it on that one, but felt it deserved its own little space on the blog.

As the crew were loading the gentleman into the ambulance I go back into the nursing home to gather my equipment to put back in the car when I see a very well dressed elderly lady walk over to me and the carer who I am with. She looks at the carer and says in a beautiful old English accent:

Resident: “My husband hasnt come in tonight”
Carer: ” I know my love”
Resident: ” What does that mean?”
Carer: ” It means that you will be staying with us tonight”
Resident: “Oh Dear”

She slowly turns and wonders off down the corridor with her head held low and such a look of sadness on her face.

Medic999: “Was her husband meant to be visiting her tonight?”
Carer: “No, he died 5 years ago. She asks the same question every night and every time we say he isnt coming its like she is hearing it for the first time ”

I look down the corridor after the resident with such a feeling of  sorrow, it hits me quite suddenly that I have just had a very personal insight into this ladies entire existence. Her dementia has left her in her own little nightmare. Each day, thinking her husband is coming to take her home so that they can be together, but instead, she goes to bed every night in her room in this big nursing home all alone.



  1. Dementia is one of the loneliest disease a caretaker might face.

  2. […] De betekenis van dementie (iemand anders, maar echt een ontzettend mooie post) […]

  3. That was my grandmother the last year of her life. My grandfather had died nine years previously, and the stroke she had, combined with her progressing dementia, robbed her of that memory. Finally, my mother found grandma's diary from the year of grandpa's death and bookmarked her entry for the day he died. Just about every day of my grandma's last year was a nightmare version of the end of 50 First Dates – wake up and learn all over again that your husband died. I'm glad that her carers were compassionate with her, gently breaking the news and promising to take care of her, even though it must have gotten old doing it day after day.

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