It seems to have been a bit doom and gloom recently, so I thought I would share a funny story with you. I hope it doesn’t turn out to be one of those “you had to be there moments!”
A couple of months ago, when we were having a particularly bad cold spell, myself and my crew mate were dispatched to a local address for a “concern for occupant”.
It transpired that the caller, the patients neighbour, had not seen him for the last 4 days (normally they talk daily over the fence). He had gone round to the door and noticed that there was a build up of mail inside the door and a ‘funny smell’ emanating from the letter box (never a good sign!!)
Anyway we turn up at the same time as the police. A single officer gets out of the car and walks up to the door with us. The house was in the middle of a terraced row with about 4 or 5 houses either side. We all get a brief history from the neighbour and myself and the police officer exchange a glance which showed that we were both thinking the same thing, its likely that its not going to be a pretty sight inside!
The usual procedure in cases like this, is that the police check all of the ground floor doors and windows to check for the best route of entry and more importantly to see if there is any unlocked doors available. If all doors are locked then they look for which is likely to be the easiest to force open. In this case however, our friendly burly policeman was obviously very keen to get in
P.O: “Right lads, stand back!”
M999:”Do you want to check around back first?”
P.O: “No time, we need to get in!”
M999: “Have you got an enforcer? (Picture at the top of this post)”
P.O: “No, this door should be no problem though”
With this he takes two steps back, grabs onto the small wall by the front door and lets rip with an all mighty kick into the door with his right foot……….whilst his left foot slips on the icy path and he goes flying backwards and lands rather unceremoniously on his backside whilst letting out a slightly effeminate wail. The door remains firmly intact.
Me and my mate let out a quick giggle whilst obviously caring greatly for our downed local police officer
M999: “Oh crap, are you ok mate?”
P.O: “Yeah, yeah, no problem. Ill get it this time!”
He pulls himself back to his feet, dusts himself down and repositions himself. He now knows what to expect, so his training kicks in and he shifts his weight slightly, moves away from the place he was standing first time and….
His foot impacts the door right next to the lock. The door doesn’t budge, his other foot slips again, and this time he tries to stop his inevitable fall back to the pavement by grabbing out at anything he can grab onto….that will be my mate then!!
Both go rolling to the ground. At least the police officer breaks the fall for my crew mate.
I quickly scan the street, looking for hidden cameras or someone responsible for this ludicrus but highly entertaining situation, but I see no one.
P.O: ” I think we should wait for an officer with an enforcer!! ”
M999: “I think that would be best, I don’t want to have to look after you as well as deal with whats behind that door”
Whilst we are waiting for another car to bring the enforcer to the house, I decide to have a walk around the back of the property to see if I can see the patient through any of the downstairs windows (Its always best if you can catch a glimpse of what you are going to see when you can get in)
There is only a low fence around the back of the houses so I climb over, walk up to the back window and peer inside. Nothing to see.
I walk over to the back door to try the lock……….It opens first time. I cant help but have a little giggle again as I think back to our police friend and his acrobatics just a few minutes earlier.
As I walk through the ground floor, I call out, announcing my presence, but get no reply. Being the coward that I am, I want my mate and the police officer with me to check the rooms, so I go to the front door and unlock it from the inside. I open the door and smile:
P.O: “You’ve got to be kidding!!”
We all search the house and find no one in. As far as we are concerned, there is nothing left for us to do. The incident remains a mystery to me. I haven’t bumped into the police officer since so I don’t know what happened to the patient. I’m assuming he went off visiting family or something. Maybe went out the back door and forgot to lock it?
I hope that’s what happened anyway.